Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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