how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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