instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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