its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
