It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We need to get me chipped asap
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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