Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
