I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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