are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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