Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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