The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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