i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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