Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
