i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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