yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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