spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
