Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
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Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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