She is in my trunk
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
