Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
