yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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