I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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