from now on my penis is your penis
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
