HIV tests are more positive than that guy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can't motorboat a personality
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize