I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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