Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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