I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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