sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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