cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize