no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
