So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
