Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
