your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
