i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
