he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
