id be glad to
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i've created a new STD.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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