there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize