He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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