I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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