Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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