Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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