party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
