the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
