its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
