I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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