Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
