She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
