he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
