If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize