Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
