I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
