I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize