It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
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It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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