Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
