According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
