there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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