Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
