Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
