That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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