but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
