Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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