the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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