You smell like stripper and shame
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
