Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
