Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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