I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
