Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
