hotel room ftw
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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