i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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