Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
