Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mbeckwith146 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(239): View more from Florida

I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk

Fav 9 1576 3551
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

Fav 9 3137 1355
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem

Fav 7 1438 3285
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

Fav 5 1419 679
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.

Fav 4 838 1190
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.

Fav 4 1150 575
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.

Fav 1 744 651
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I had a sandwich.

Fav 0 39 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.

Fav 0 50 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT