Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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